free writing 2-17-11

A good friend of mine is going through hard times and it is really affecting her. I see it in her eyes she may hide it but i see right through it to sadness that is going on. I may not know exactly what is going on but i know there is something that is infesting her soul and tearing her apart from the inside out. I wish to help her but i accepted her wish of not knowing about it and then i have to juggle the problems that are going on in my own life as well. It just seems so hard to do anything right now without some idiot judging me or her. I cant seem to escape it and its driving me up the wall. I really wish i knew what was going on with her but i am not going to force it out of her so i will remain in the dark and let the professionals handle it while i sit on the sidelines blind and deaf. I hope that one day that she will tell me so i don't feel useless as she struggles through this dark time. I can't bear to watch i want to rush in and help but i can't. She means the world to me and I can't stand to watch her suffer. I hope that this dark cloud will clear soon.